I called off my engagement, now what?…

I have been hearing this question a lot lately. I can’t remember another year where I have had so many clients break up and cancel the wedding. Some couples just realize they aren’t in love anymore, others have lost jobs and were worried about not being able to pay for the wedding. Whatever the reason is, it is not an easy thing to deal with.

First of all, I commend you for being very brave. Once those wedding plans are in motion, there is so much pressure from family and friends to move forward. Also, the financial commitments you make for the wedding can make canceling it an expensive prospect. It takes a lot of courage to realize that for whatever reason, going ahead with the wedding is not the right thing to do.

Here are some tips to wrapping up the loose ends from a canceled wedding:

• Notify your closest family and friends first. There is no reward for going through this difficult time alone. Your loved ones are there for support.
• Cancel your wedding arrangements as soon as possible. Make sure to review your contracts to confirm what your vendors’ cancellation policies are regarding getting back deposits, using the deposits for another event and how they need to be contacted (even if your contract allows you to cancel via telephone, I suggest following up with a written notification and request for deposit).
• Return all engagement and shower gifts. Proper etiquette further dictates that if you used any of the gifts, you should purchase a new one to return to the sender.
• Don’t be overly hard on yourself. A canceled engagement doesn’t mean that you are a failure. A very smart friend once told me that if one love doesn’t work out, there is another one, the perfect one, waiting somewhere for you to find him or her.

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