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Thanks for Bibi Raven of Truly – Experiences Beyond Ordinary for sharing these wonderful tips on attending a wedding, especially if you are a newbie guest.
“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” —Katherine Hepburn
Have you been invited to a wedding – and not even sure what you’re supposed to do?
Being invited to a wedding is not like being invited to any old event – there are certain courtesies that must be upheld when being a guest at a wedding. And you definitely don’t want to be that guest that everyone’s talking about for all the wrong reasons.
If you’re freaking out about what is involved in being a wedding guest, we’ve got you covered! Behold, the most important survival tips for your first time being a wedding guest.
- RSVP ahead of time
When you receive your wedding invite, it should have an “RSVP by” date. Couples usually give their guests two months before the wedding to RSVP, which gives you more than enough time to make any travel plans.
To be a really super duper amazing guest, I like to RSVP before the cut off date. This gives the future newlyweds even more time to plan all those important wedding logistics like seats, food, and drink.
Whether you’ve decided to bring a plus one or if you’re flying solo, stick to it. Do not message the newlyweds one week ahead of the big day asking if you can bring your new Tinder date as a guest. That’s just not cool.
- Dress the part
Weddings today usually have a relatively strict dress code – but sometimes they can be damn confusing! “Smart casual”, “white tie”, “black tie”, “beach formal”. What does it all mean??
As a rule of thumb, I always try to dress up than dress down. It’s better to be the guest who went all out with their outfit and looks like a million bucks than the guest who looks like they threw on the first thing in their cupboard.
If there’s a color theme, adhere to it! I recently went to a wedding with the theme “50 Shades of Rustic Pinks and Blues” and there was a guest who wore a red cocktail dress. Not only did she stick out like a sore thumb, she totally ruined the aesthetics for the photos.
If you’re having any serious doubts about what to wear, just ask! The bride or Maid of Honor will appreciate that you’re taking the dress code seriously, rather than ignoring it.
- Don’t be late
If you’re one of those people that like to be “fashionably late”, this is not the time or place. You should arrive at the ceremony at least half an hour before the invitation states, and even earlier if it’s a big wedding. Don’t creep in late and have everyone’s attention turning to you instead of the beautiful bride. She will not forgive for that.
Another important thing to note is that you should never, ever think you can just rock up to the reception without attending the ceremony. You’ve been invited to witness and celebrate the love between two people, not enjoy free food and drink at a big party.
- Be aware of any social media requests
The Digital Age that we’re in means that there are a whole new set of rules and etiquette to be adhered to when attending a wedding.
It goes without saying that you’re going to want to share, tweet and hashtag every moment of your friends’ special day – but make sure you’re aware of any social media related requests they’ve made.
Some couples will ask that you don’t take any photos or videos during the actual ceremony. They’ve probably hired a photographer or videographer for that exact reason, so put away your phone and be in the moment.
On the other hand, they may encourage their guests to take as many photos and videos as humanly possible. If that’s the case then snap away, and make sure you add the couple’s special #hashtag. It’s a great way for them to be able to find your photos and add to their wedding photo collection.
- Buy them a thoughtful wedding gift
Buying an awesome wedding gift for the couple is one of the most stressful parts of attending a wedding. The biggest question asked by wedding guest newbies is how much money they should spend.
Unfortunately, there really is no correct answer for this – it depends on how close you are to them, as well as how much you can afford to spend. But what I think really counts more than anything is how much thought you’ve put into the gift.
Some couples may have a gift registry, but I find them daunting and sometimes confusing. Cash is always appreciated, especially if they plan on investing in their home or a family soon after the wedding. But my personal favorite is a clutter-free experience gift that they can share together.
Treat them to a much-needed pampering day at the spa after all their wedding stresses. Or how about a romantic meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant. For something totally different, how about an adrenaline pumping sporting experience. The possibilities are endless!
- Be a social butterfly – even if you have to fake it
Even if you’re a bit nervous about attending a wedding for the first time, put on a brave face and be the life of the party. If you don’t know anyone there, chances are there’s someone who’s in the same boat as you. Go up to other guests, introduce yourself and get talking. It’s a great way to network, even on a personal level!
When it comes to the reception, don’t be the lame wallflower. Have a few drinks and hit the dancefloor! Everyone will be celebrating, not judging your poor dance moves. That being said, don’t go overboard on the booze. There’s nothing more embarrassing than being sent home in a cab by a person you’ve just met.
Be the Best Guest
The best way to thank the newlyweds for sharing their special day with you is to be the best wedding guest you can be.
Shake off those nerves, get dolled up and have a blast! Being a wedding guest for a day is one of those rare chances you get to meet new people, have a lot of fun and celebrate the beauty of love.
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