We Answer 8 Popular Wedding Invitation Etiquette Questions…

November 16, 2016

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As one of the most important elements of your wedding day, invitations provide your guests with crucial information. While some details of your big day don’t have to follow strict rules, your wedding invitations do. To help get you through, we’ve gone ahead and answered some of the most pressing wedding invite related questions out there.

1. When should wedding invitations be sent out?
Traditionally wedding invitations are mailed out six to eight weeks before the big day. This provides wedding guests ample time to make travel arrangements (if out of town). If you are having a destination wedding, provide your guests more time and send the invitations out three months prior to the date. If you plan on sending out save the dates, of which should be mailed out six to eight months prior.

2. What should the deadline be for RSVPs?
We suggest an RSVP deadline of two to three weeks before the wedding. Seeing you will need to provide your caterer (one week before) a final head count and finalize your seating chart. If you have some wedding guests who have not responded, give them a quick call. It is okay to ask that they still send (via mail) their RSVPs to you.

3. Registry details, can they go on the invitations?
To put it nice and simple, no. Tell your parents, wedding party and close friend where you are registered and let them fill guests in. One place you can add it: your wedding website. In fact most wedding guests know that all the extra information about the wedding can be found there.

4. Where does our wedding website details go?
Add it to your save the dates. A simple “ChrisandAmanda.com” is all your guests need. Not sending a save the date? Add a line at the bottom of your formal invitation or include a small card with the details.

5. We are not allowing kids at our wedding. How do we make that clear to our wedding guests?
By addressing the invitation to the appropriate invites. Instead of writing “and guest,” address each person invited by name. If you find that some guests have RSVP’d and included their children’s names, simply give them a call and explain that you’ve decided on an adults-only wedding and that you hope they can still attend. If you have a large amount of children in your family, consider hiring a babysitter for that day to watch all of them. If you do this, be sure to include that information on your wedding website.

6. Does every wedding guest need a “plus-one”?
No, they do not. If a wedding guest is not married or in a serious relationship, it is absolutely okay to not provide them a “plus-one.” If a guest RSVPs with two names, simply give them a call and explain that you’re having an intimate wedding and you were unable to send invites to everyone that permitted a guest.

7. We have a dress code for our wedding, how do we let our guests know?
Be direct. On the bottom right-hand corner of invitation, spell your dress code out for your guests. Something else to keep in mind, your stationery will be an accurate representation of your wedding. If you have a traditional invitation with letterpress and calligraphy, your guests should get the hint that your wedding will be formal. A more playful font with bright colors will indicate a more causal affair.

8. My friend and her boyfriend (who was invited by name on the invitation) recently broke up. She now wants to bring a friend I do not like to my wedding. Can I tell her no?
You have every right to say no, simply because you worded the invitation correctly. Had the wedding invitation read Ms. Caroline Smith and Guest, we would be having another conversation. As a general rule, wedding invitations are nontransferable when guests are invited by name. Give the friend a call and let her know that you prefer your wedding be limited to very good friends and family, and that the proposed guest you’re not particularly friendly with.